IT'S MY TIME!!!
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Coming out of the Shadows
These past five years have been a phase of my life for which
any expression of gratitude will always be insufficient.
I have been – almost exclusively – a mum. I must concur … the most rewarding job in
the world MUST be that of Motherhood.
Spending the most part of everyday dedicated to the development and
well-being of my children has been endearing, enriching, exquisite and also monumentally
exhausting!
Guiding their thinking and behavior patterns by creating
#futureboards for their manifesting walls, magically squeezing hours into my
day to attend all the cricket matches, cricket trials, swimming galas,
horse-riding lessons, hockey matches and athletic events. My daily micro-managing of homework and
teaching of study techniques, even when we go away on holiday … have hugely
benefitted the relationship I have with them.
Developing meal plans and insisting on a protein-based meal
when temper-tantrums demand a sugar treat instead.
I know – beyond a shadow of a doubt - that my sole purpose
these five years past, of being dedicated to their development, have forever
changed who they are as people.
I am so grateful that I have had the opportunity to do
this.
AND – somewhere between the cricket matches and
protein-based meals – I slipped into the shadows.
The time I used to spend manicuring my nails at a nail bar was
now spent biting them watching a tense cricket over. The cash that I would otherwise have spent on
a facial or skin products was instead used to purchase another pair of Nikes to
match a new cricketing uniform.
And time in the past spent having a power nap had become hours
attending invaluable classes on “How to Assist Your Child with Mathematics”.
Today, 23 July, marks a major milestone birthday! And
along with that came a fresh onslaught of often resurfacing doubts and fears
that I am slowly losing my essence.
The intensity of my personality was fading, slipping into
the shadows of motherhood and housewife.
I miss me. I miss the
me that used to go to gym at 4h30 in the morning and then rush straight to a
high-powered job immediately after. Fuelled
by the adrenalin of personal achievement, I’d do another gym session after work. Of course I kidded myself that simultaneously
having my son at the gym aftercare was spending ‘quality time’ with him.
BUT … back to the matter of me missing me.
During the last five years – whenever these fears and doubts
arose – I would have a power surge of doing my own weekly facials (at least),
and have great intentions of being vigilant about training mean and eating
clean. I’d make a promise to myself to
do a weekly manicure – or at least wash my hair every 2 days!! And then … a week would pass by and I’d be
doing the school run in my nightclothes.
It’s not that I’ve become overweight or a slob or anything
like that. But I used to be a Type A
personality when it came to personal achievement. I used to be a perfectionist when it came to
being run-way ready. That’s the me I
miss.
So – today … I started afresh with my #HBRMethod
bootcamp. And I’m writing these
upcoming blogs just for me. To document
my journey out of the shadows.
With my thoughts, my words, my behaviors and #myhustle!